It was a normal Monday morning, it was a good day until lunch. I opened my lunch box and it slipped out of my hand and fell the 175 stories to the ground. My friend, Bill, saw what had happened and offered me one half of his sandwich, but I would have to walk across two beams to get there. I was halfway there when a strong breeze blew, I leaned to the left, then to the right and then fell off. Right as I fell I heard my friends scream my name. For the first few stories I thought about my childhood and growing up in my small town. Then I thought of my first job, building little houses in the suburbs of New York. Then I thought of how I had met my wife, she was a buyer of one of the houses I had built. Who knew I would be living there with her in two years and who knew that this morning would be the last time I spoke to her? I then saw that I was at the top of all the other skyscrapers and knew that it was my time. I closed my eyes and just waited. All of a sudden I landed in a big pile of garbage. My legs and arms hurt and some ribs. The garbage truck had just left the country club and I smelled like yesterday’s early bird special. They quickly pulled over and tooke me to the hospital. I suffered from nine broken bones and a concussion. But the fall changed my life. I quit the job and got an office job. I went home and gave my wife a hug every night and every morning.
This was a cool story. Enjoyed the “life changing” aspect of it!!
Like I said earlier, you’ve got a lot of great little details: going to get the sandwich, how he met his wife, working in an office afterward. All those little details come together to create real character.