Carnival by Sam T.

Posted: November 12, 2008 in Uncategorized

I was walking up to the tent. It was Thursday night so I knew it was going to be free tonight. My goal was to meet up with up with the ringleader after the show. The show came to a conclusion and I knew the ringleader always went to the back of the tent after the show so I made my way back there. He was probably used to kids like me coming up to him and asking to join his traveling circus. He immediately turned and started to walk away. I yelled for him to come back. He decided to hear me out and I told him everything. All about my life at home and all the complicants of my parents. I figured I could get away from all the by literally just leaving and starting over. I never thought it would dawn on me that I would get so homesick but I thought it was for the better. He told me that I could stay for as long as I needed to but I would have to pull my own weight. I started out setting up the stage for the magicians and the other people that worked on it. After I realized that it would be better for me to go home and worked on my problems with everyone and never ran away again.

  1. K says:

    Great imagination! Loved the circus theme.!!

  2. Kristopher says:

    You’ve written a great scene here. Having the two characters who want different things (one wants to join the carnival, the other wants the first one to go away) generates a conflict and makes readers want to know who wins.

    The idea of the kid explaining why he wants to leave home and ending up feeling homesick because of it was clever.

    I know you were kind of rushed with this one, and I’d love to see you expand it, let the reader hear some of the conversation instead of just telling them about it.